A Personal Journal

149 Can you hear me now?

In .Mac, Gay, Nick Thomas, Queer on October 6, 2007 at 5:20 am

I’ve been having some issues with .Mac. But nothing can ever keep me quite for long. Raw PODcast. Total running time: 26 minutes 50 seconds (Mono) MP3. Click on the link in the right sidebar to listen to my PODcast.

  1. Ummm….I have this theory about the Apple company. I believe that they are in reality a race of green space lizards that are hell bent on taking over the Earth. Disguised as human by covering themselves with an artificial iSkin, Steve Jobs is their leader and inspiration, the Big Iguana. They are based on a high orbit space station, out of reach of email or phone calls, which is rendered invisible by an elaborate cloaking device and they have a series of ground stations cleverly disguised as ‘Apple Stores’. Within each ground station there exists a teleport portal device, the ‘iPort’, usually situated to the rear of the Genius Desk and which is also invisible to us humans. The ‘employees’ of the ‘Apple Store’ travel to and from their ground station by means of this portal which is why they are never to be seen actually entering or leaving the premises. Check this out for yourselves – get there way before it opens but you never see them enter; wait around outside ’til long after it closes but nobody will leave.

    Domination of the human race is ensured by the space lizards manufacturing all the Apple products out of a special kind of plastic, impregnated with a drug which both intoxicates and enslaves mankind by addicting them to the invisible vapour which the plastic constantly emits. Every Mac user is enveloped in a cloud of feel-good, euphoric loyalty gas, leaving them wanting to acquire more and more Apple products, more iPhones, more iPods, more MacBook Pro’s. All rational thought is destroyed.

    Victory for the space lizards is only threatened by a race of giant space leeches who are cunningly disguised as employees of the Microsoft Corporation. They’re from an entirely different planet and have quite their own agenda, involving extracting as much wealth from the citizens of Earth as is possible.

    Hasn’t anybody else realised what they are up to …….or is it just me ????

    Umm……I’ve drunk too much coffee again today, haven’t I ?

    Nick, it is good to see you back in business again.

    ~ Paul.

    Paul_in_London 6 October 2007 at 10am