A Personal Journal

173 The little boy inside

In Sadness on December 2, 2007 at 12:40 pm

Re-discovering “Company”, the Original Broadway Musical. At the risk of copyright infringement I play one of my favorite excerpt’s from the original cast production. I talk about how looking at old pictures has brought back forgotten memories. Musical excerpt: “Side by side by side.” Total running time: 31 minutes 51 seconds. (Stereo) MP3. Click the link in the right sidebar under the “Nick Thomas Podcast” to listen.

  1. Oh Nick – today is not a very good one for you. Never, ever, apologise for being honest about the way you’re feeling – we ALL get like this at some time or another. My heart goes out to you when I hear the anguish in your voice ………I do so empathise and, again, only wish I wasn’t over this side of the ocean and that I could at least offer some reassurance in person. You need a huge hug and to be firmly told not to worry, it’ll get better. I reckon I’m not the only one of your listeners who really does care about your well being, you truly are not alone – in a funny internet way you have become a good friend, someone I feel a kinship with.

    Looking at old pictures of yourself as a child can be a very poignant experience. I always appeared a very serious, unsmiling, sometimes downright miserable, child. Never laughing or happy looking. The weirdest one is of me in drag …….. yep, that’s right, me aged 10 in DRAG, in a childrens fancy dress competition on a Union Castle liner travelling between Cape Town and the U.K. For some bizarre reason my dear mother decided that I would go as a beauty pageant queen so she dressed me in one of her bathing costumes complete with padded tits, her big floppy sunhat, her big sunglasses, her high heels, and ……. yikes !!……full make-up. Had a sash around my waist labelled ‘Miss Pendennis Castle’ – the name of the ship we were on. Damn but I looked very convincing – so convincing that the judges though that I WAS a girl and so wasn’t costumed very inventively, so won no prize. Hell bells, it was enough to scar me psychologically for life. Did she sense something about her son, even at that age?

    My relationship with my Mom was always strained after that incident.

    Nick ……I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.

  2. Oh, by the way …….I now have a wordpress page of my own. (shades of my old Livejournal days). http://www.poplarpaul.wordpress.com

  3. Nick,

    I am thinking of you. I listened to your podcast and felt for you deeply. You seem to be reminded that you have done a lot for yourself and others now as an adult and for that you should be proud. You have invested many years in Jeremy, you have reached out to us via your podcasting and website, and you have reached out to other in countless other ways that you may not be aware of at this moment. Take a step back and appreciate all the good that you have sown in the lives around you.

    Keep in touch and let all of us know how you are doing. We will be your friends not matter your test results! The results will not change the person who you are inside.

    Hugs,

    Thom

  4. I agree with Paul, never apologize for being honest with your emotion.
    People appreciate your honesty. You’re very brave.
    Check your email. I sent you a personal note.

  5. [...] Nick Thomas shared a very intimate part of him, and no I’m not talking about sex. 173 The little boy inside [...]

  6. [...] Nick Thomas shared a very intimate part of him, and no I’m not talking about sex. “173 The little boy inside” [...]

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