Trying to find happiness in a broken world. The only world I have ever known. Intro/outro music: From the Movie Musical, “Camelot” starring Richard Harris and Vanessa Redgrave. Mic: Shure SM7B; Mixer: Mackie DFX6; Recording device: Garageband. Total running time: 48 minutes 47 seconds. Click here to listen or right click to download this podcast.
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I came out to my parents two days ago & it went great! Brilliant.
ANYWAY, nobody thinks you’re a monster Nick. And I cannot tell you how many times I have regretted something I have done: I’ve said terrible things to my parents, I’ve hurt people’s feelings, I’ve lied to the point of hurting people, I’ve walked the wrong way down a street, I’ve run when I should have stuck up for myself & I’ve been fearful of things I really shouldn’t be fearful of. Two years ago I got chased by homophobes outside a movie theater in the middle of nowhere and I wish to god I’d stuck up for myself and maybe got beaten up just to prove a point. But I was too scared, and my friend had to tell them to go otherwise she would kick their asses. I was so afraid & ashamed that day.
I can’t believe you filled the void of loneliness you felt with another meaningless fuck, *sigh*, you and I are so different. Mind you, I think I’m in the minority.
I’ll be avoiding guys who are conventionally attractive, I can’t deal with people who are up themselves. Who gives a shit? I want someone funny who looks like crap when they first wake up – I don’t want an overmuscled, tanned-up queen who wears make-up and cares about what ‘fashion label’ their clothes are. I want someone smart who shops at the thrift store!
If I went to Bluff Creek Falls I’d just look at the nature and plants, and relish that I’m not in a house! Who wants to fuck outside where people can see you?! Doesn’t sound appealing to me.
Good for you coming out to your parents Zac. I’m proud of you! I’m okay now. I just needed to release what I was feeling. You know how I am.
Hello My Alabama Friend Nick:
I also love the musicals! You are a good person! It will take some to find the love of your life! I feel for you My Alabama Friend!I was crying my eyes out too! I have been depressed and feeling lonely myself since I lost my father about two and a half years ago! It will be three years in December!Please Stop Being Depressed and Cheer Up My Alabama Friend Nick! We are your friends that love you and your podcast! Take Care My Alabama Friend Nick! From Your California Friend, Michael Fein.
I’m going to the library tonight to borrow the DVD of Camelot because I’ve never seen it. Camelot always reminds me of JFK, who was a big fan, even though he was straight. Hope you’re feeling better.
There is somebody somewhere out there Nick, never lose hope. Sometimes people meet the ONE in the most strangest means and places. You just need to make adjustments and change some of your ways to accommodate the person. It is always difficult to find a partner, you need broaden your perspective. And sometimes you have to give up something to make not only you but also the other person happy. I’m sure it is hard to make a 360 turn from your old habits but it will be worth the try. I think the appropriate word for that is compromise.
You can cry, bitch depress, cuss about misfortunes and unrealized dreams of life but if you don’t change at least some thing in your life then nothing will happen. Change is always a difficult transition but, in one way or another, change is inevitable. It’s your choice, be miserable and lonely or try to make things work out with someone. Maybe you need to tone down your set of standards in looking for a partner – physical, most of the time is superficial, it’s what’s within that matters.
I am hoping that someone will come your way and you will have a “happily ever after” story to share someday. In the meantime, enjoy, be safe and be careful.
Have a great week.